horse loose in a hospital transcript

He’s standing on a 45-degree angle. One day I’m going to leave you and I’m going to get that Best Buy Rewards card.” She’s like, “Jesus Christ, you’re never going to get that Best Buy Rewards card!”But we don’t have any kids now and it’s great. We have a dog though.

I was hoping he’d believe me, that it was secretly my great wish but that I’m in an abusive marriage with little Miss Jesus Christ over here so I can’t ask for the things I want in public but at home, at night, we argue about it and I’m like, “You’ll see! Well, may I introduce you to, and my condolences again to everyone, the gazebo!” [audience laughing] Building a gazebo during the Civil War, that’d be like doing stand-up comedy now.Yes.

A commentary on how out of control the Trump era feels to normal people, it is a comedic triumph.This was at the end of a write up of news that the next wave of automation is really going to kill a lot of jobs. And people lean in to see the baby.And instead they see a gargoyle breathing like Chris Christie. TED Talk Subtitles and Transcript: Is your school or workplace divided between the "creatives" versus the practical people? Then I reach into his jacket pocket where I had planted a gram of coke and I went, ‘Whoa! This content was created by a Daily Kos Community member. But it was certainly not the first time she had sung it. Think about that for two minutes and tell me you don’t want to walk into the ocean.I just like old-fashioned things. The days when you don't hear anything from the horse are the worst, he says.

I said, “Do you mind if I still make fun of you on stage? We all know that.”“But what do you think those guys are celebrating?” And my wife looked at the floor. I am slick. And neither do any of you, and neither do your parents, because there’s a horse loose in the hospital.

Space bar. ‘Cause as any Chicago cop will tell ya, a phone book doesn’t leave bruises.” “Well, that was seven-year-old John Mulaney, currently being sued for police brutality.”Bittenbinder told me things that haunt me to this day. I don’t know what my body is for other than just taking my head from room to room.And it’s not getting any better. Other than if you, like, bought a duffel bag of fake cocaine. I want to talk about what happened yesterday.” You’re like eight years old, “What’s yesterday?” “We invite a woman here with homemade puppets to teach you about bullying through skits and you laugh at this woman? [audience cheering] I’m lazy by nature too. I don’t remember exactly what it was, but rounding up, back in 1999 dollars, it was about $15,000 a semester, two semesters a year, for four years. [chuckles] Like the back of a dolphin, my back. We’ve all seen a bird in the airport. That shouldn’t be allowed no matter who the horse is. In Nazi Germany…”…when people saw what the Nazis were doing and did nothing, were those good people?” “No, those are bad people.
So he would pick us apart psychologically. I never seen that before.’ I go, ‘Boo-hoo, it’s in your jacket. Okay, my favorite host ever introducing a musical guest was this. It’s a Psalm.” And then these guys get up in front of everyone and they’re like…And then the guy goes like this. I’ve been talking through burps. It’s like there’s a horse loose in a hospital. I want you to do it. That’s right.
One time I was at the dinner table when I was like six, because I had to be. It would go right to her ego, that little monster who just rubs her vulva on the carpet while staring at me in the eye. I’m like an iPhone, it’s going to be worse versions of this every year, plus I get super hot in the middle of the afternoon for no reason.

When I was a kid and I wanted to burp, I’d be like, “Silence!” Blagh! He goes, “Okay, when you get kidnapped…” Not if, when. That’s life.” Bittenbinder, he didn’t want us to not get kidnapped. Hey, Father, what was the name of the shopping mall? I don’t even have a joke for that.

All right! I used the Bittenbinder method. No. You may think that’s an ignorant answer but it’s not, it’s a great answer. Colbert has routinely used his show to mock Trump, The Hill 1625 K Street, NW Suite 900 Washington DC 20006 | 202-628-8500 tel | 202-628-8503 faxThe contents of this site are ©2020 Capitol Hill Publishing Corp., a subsidiary of News Communications, Inc. Petunia likes to be very social but she can’t walk very far because she has a flat face, so she can’t breathe by design.

And I love and respect my wife very much.

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