sailor jokes dirty one liners

I never saw anybody drink that fast.”The sailor replies, “Well, you’d drink that fast too, if you had what I have.”The bartender says, “Oh my God! The mate takes a good look in the cup and notices some thick white stuff floating on top and with a worried look says “So I gotta ask, are you gay?”“so when is the last time you blew a man?” asks the mate. When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.St. The magician found himself adrift on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course. As he swam the sharks move aside.“No”, said the doctor, “That’s professional courtesy!”A woman was nearing the end of her tether – every night her husband was snored so loudly that it kept her awake.She decided to call the family doctor to see if there was anything that could be done to relieve her nightly suffering.“Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband of his snoring,”  said the doctor, “but I must warn you that it is rather expensive.
The crews were marooned. He asked, “so, how did you end up with the peg leg?”One worries about pirates while the other worries about pie rates!They are used to transporting goods and make a good living doing so, this time however they've been tasked with taking 300 boxes of penis shaped potatoes across the channel and they all think it's a joke. Enjoy the surprise element of our carefully selected collection of dirty jokes that will really get you in the mood for fun. The captain slowly shakes his head and says "RRRRRR you kidding me?" While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? Just as me crew were pullin’ me out a school of sharks appeared and one of ’em bit me leg off.”“Blimey!” said the sailor . The headline in the club newsletter the next day was, ‘Cata-frostic Dismaster.’An old captain and his first mate are reminiscing about their days on the Arctic convoys of World War II together.Captain: “All through those terrible, dark, storm wracked nights, you never once failed to bring me a steaming full mug of tea on the night watch. See TOP 10 dirty one liners.

Peter says “Yes we have ships but…” then he becomes red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground.‘OH, COME ON!’, St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find one priest up here! That should be OK.”After some time, the sailor comes out with a pair of jumper cables. A sailor who has been out at sea for two months stops at a brothel. It wasn’t until the 90’s that this form of humor got ever-so-popular and started gaining its form that we are familiar with today. One man is at the sonar, one by the periscope, while the captain minds his own duties. We’ve drawn on a wide range of sources to update our list of sailing-related jokes.Hopefully, this will give you plenty of ammunition to keep your family and friends laughing on board or on dry land!Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?So that when the ships come back into port they can Scandinavian!He has a ship’s wheel stuffed into the front of his trousers.The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a ship’s wheel in your trousers!”The ‘ol salt says, “Aye mate and it’s driving me nuts!”A boat carrying red paint crashed into a boat carrying blue paint and the crew were marooned.A thirsty sailor runs from his boat to the nearest bar and shouts to the bartender, “Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, quick!”The bartender pours out the shots, and the sailor drinks them as fast as he can.The bartender is very impressed and exclaims, “Wow.
Dirty humor is available at hand everywhere you turn around: on TV, on your Facebook, between your colleagues during an after-work drink, and now here at Funny Jokes 2 Go. "True story, an America AB gets off a ship to go home in Singapore, he decides to get a room and a call girl. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the sameA ship loaded with blue paint collided with a ship carrying red paint.After moving inland, they are captured by members of an indigenous tribe. But honestly, what’s wrong with that? 42 of them, in fact! ?A 3rd mate is standing watch with an 30 year old AB everyone says is gay. In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. 75 of Billy Connolly’s best jokes, one-liners and quips 30 of the best-ever jokes about Scotland – from Scotland …and some quotes: 64 of the funniest Seinfeld quotes to sum up everyday life Tags: Anchor Puns Boat Humour Boat Jokes Boat Puns Boat Quotes Captain Puns Cruising Ferry Puns Funny Boat Names Marinas Maritime Puns Motor Boat Jokes Nautical Jokes Nautical Play On Words Nautical Puns Pirate Jokes Sailing Jokes Sailor One Liners Sailor Puns Ship Jokes … A seaman meets a pirate in a bar. One young sailor decided to swallow his pride, stop competing and asked for advice:The first whale begins to panic. 1.

About half way through the watch the AB accidentally drinks coffee from the mate’s cup, then apologies and hands it back. In order to keep their troops healthy, they needed to monitor the submarine that carried supplies to where the others were located.You try explaining to the postman why you have a load of seamen for him. As cheesy as it is, do you want to know what the key to my heart is? "I'll SEAL you later" what did the sailor say to the other when they had a problem? As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, “All right!

So he says to the other whale "Hey, that is the boat that harpooned Frank, we should get back at them"All sailors knew, that the captains' pipe was always the best, no matter who and when decided to contest him with a tobacco from the farthest corners of the mother earth. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. “This is all I could find to put around my neck,” he said.Sighing, the deck hand said: “OK, I’ll let you in with those, but just don’t start anything.”A doctor, a dentist and a lawyer were in a boat together when a wave came along and washed them all overboard.Unable to get back into the boat, they decided two would hold on to the boat and the third would swim to shore for help.They noticed that there were hundreds of sharks between them and land.Without a word the lawyer took off! When the captain lets you steer the boat for a minute because it's your birthday.

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